Honesty.

I think it is time I be honest with myself: Moving away from home is a lot harder than I expected.

I have this huge heart ache. I'm not sure if it is from home sickness, nostalgia, or just nerves. But this ache is changing my character and effecting those around me. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but it is hard to ignore.

My working out and diet plans has not been up to par. I am still doing okay (not gained any weight and occasional yoga) but not as strong as I should be doing. Why am I having a hard time improving myself and sticking with my healthy living goals?

I am lonely. I miss my family and friends in Salt Lake City. I feel empty without people who care about me around every corner. Meeting new people has proven to be more difficult than expected. I hope I find a way to get out there a little more and show people I have a lot to offer as a friend.

The best advice I have:

Lately I feel I am showing I care by service; cooking, cleaning, doing chores, and favors. But I need to remember I am doing these things to show I care and to be nice, not for recognition. Working hard and being a nice is my #1 priority. That is what I have to hold onto right now. A simple concept that I feel can take me to good places and people. 

I love Seattle, I love it so much. I am trying so hard not to be weak and stay strong but some nights it is hard. I am trying my best to remember things are going okay and they will get better. I am determined to make my life here better ... the best it can possibly be.

Here is hoping for experience, adventure, and perspective to keep coming.